another one of those discouraging days.
days where i wonder yet again if i have made a stupid decision. a decision to start another job that i probably won't be completely satisfied by. a job that leads me to believe that i will never be satisfied anywhere i work unless its completely by myself. i just don't know what to fucking do.
i'm really getting discouraged with photography. this comes in phases. i hate work, i begin to become overly envious of other peoples' work with photog and think that i have no way in hell of making it. i know i have fans. i know i have people looking at my work. i don't have enough money to do this. its so freakin expensive. i have like 4 things on my wish list and its just not happening. if i don't get an external flash like ASAP i'm going to freak out. the image quality is simply not the same. its so so SO annoying. arghh.. i'm sure me getting my ass off the internet and reading a book, taking a bath or doing something more relaxing would solve all of this.
i just don't know what's up. but it's not my life right now thats for sure.
alright. i'm getting into bed or something. this is ridiculous because i know if i get any more memories/thoughts/ideas/etc. in my head, it will explode. that, or tears.
