has you bi polar one day, has you feeling great the next hour.
being a gemini has its ups and way downs.
i'm not sure how much i love being so two-sided.
today i have gone through 3 sets of emotions:
1) woke up sad and unsatisfied
2) decided that what i'm probably thinking is going to be something great might not be all that great at all. that i shouldn't get my hopes up and i should back down. that i was in over my head.
3) that maybe things are okay. that i need to be patient. patience is key. you haven't heard any news from him yet and that you need to just wait it out. who even knows how beautiful things can go.
i'm not sure what kind of emotions the rest of the day holds, but i know that i need to not get my undies in a bundle.
by the words of my best friend:
"Just try to look at it positively. This could never have happened. I guarantee you that your life is more exciting now than it was two weeks ago!"
and she is correct, my friends.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
day 6 of the jon journey.
the easiest way to update is by saying that it is going great.
we have discussed things that i never thought would come to be. our communication is hard because hes not quite as tech savvy as he should be with me being too many miles away from him.
he called me last night and it felt so good. his voice was just as i remembered it and like it hadn't been two years since i'd last heard it.
it was hard to even talk really. i was in such awe that i didn't know what to say. i asked him how all of this came to be. and he said-
"i have always thought about you. i woke up one morning and decided i needed to contact you."
is it a bad thing that i haven't thought the same? or was it a preconceived notion that i put in my head due to the fact that when i was around him i thought i would have no chance in the world. so naturally now it is hard to believe everything.
his voice did it all though. i don't need any other kind of reassurance that this is real.
i'm waiting to receive a detailed message from him about what is going on. in all honesty i have no idea what to expect. i do expect that it is good news, but it is so hard to wait for something like this. i have been constantly happy since i have heard from him, but this is by far the hardest day of waiting.i practically don't want anyone to text me or message me because i think it may be him. he really needs to practice technology advances ha!
i mean really though, there is no other way of communicating if it is not through something like it.
its a terrible thought that all i want to do is sleep so that i can hear from him faster. its like i just wait because i feel like there is nothing else i can do that will hold me over until then. distractions like "the tallest man on earth" on pandora and blogger truly help the time pass, but i just dont know how im supposed to do this if things do work out. i know that be able to be with him physically will have to be done.
so now i will wait until i get that message that either makes things that much stronger or makes me second guess. i'm not sure. the best part is not having my hopes up due to the fact that i really don't know what he's going to say. i can't even guess it!
all i CAN say is that if this all works out, this 21 year old girl that said she never wanted to have kids until she was like 30, will be doing things a whole lot faster. it may just be a beautiful thing. if i can change or adjust my view on the way i want things to work out in my life, it all may just happen.
isn't that the beauty of it all?
we have discussed things that i never thought would come to be. our communication is hard because hes not quite as tech savvy as he should be with me being too many miles away from him.
he called me last night and it felt so good. his voice was just as i remembered it and like it hadn't been two years since i'd last heard it.
it was hard to even talk really. i was in such awe that i didn't know what to say. i asked him how all of this came to be. and he said-
"i have always thought about you. i woke up one morning and decided i needed to contact you."
is it a bad thing that i haven't thought the same? or was it a preconceived notion that i put in my head due to the fact that when i was around him i thought i would have no chance in the world. so naturally now it is hard to believe everything.
his voice did it all though. i don't need any other kind of reassurance that this is real.
i'm waiting to receive a detailed message from him about what is going on. in all honesty i have no idea what to expect. i do expect that it is good news, but it is so hard to wait for something like this. i have been constantly happy since i have heard from him, but this is by far the hardest day of waiting.i practically don't want anyone to text me or message me because i think it may be him. he really needs to practice technology advances ha!
i mean really though, there is no other way of communicating if it is not through something like it.
its a terrible thought that all i want to do is sleep so that i can hear from him faster. its like i just wait because i feel like there is nothing else i can do that will hold me over until then. distractions like "the tallest man on earth" on pandora and blogger truly help the time pass, but i just dont know how im supposed to do this if things do work out. i know that be able to be with him physically will have to be done.
so now i will wait until i get that message that either makes things that much stronger or makes me second guess. i'm not sure. the best part is not having my hopes up due to the fact that i really don't know what he's going to say. i can't even guess it!
all i CAN say is that if this all works out, this 21 year old girl that said she never wanted to have kids until she was like 30, will be doing things a whole lot faster. it may just be a beautiful thing. if i can change or adjust my view on the way i want things to work out in my life, it all may just happen.
isn't that the beauty of it all?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)