i can't believe that. i can't believe that i can say that there's only EIGHT DAYS.
i'm so extremely nervous/excited/intimidated/etc/etc/etc. i think the last time i felt this way was when i was in high school, counting down the days til my europe trip on a dry-erase board. it's a good and scary feeling all in one.
it is all too crazy to think that my life could take a turn for the extremely best or just leave it where it was in the past. one thing i know i will get out of it is a learning experience. that i have done SO WELL with patience and not getting too ahead of myself. i know that when we first started talking i was a little in over my head, in such a fantasy way. it's fun to dream like that but it's also good to bring yourself back to reality and remain neutral about everything. oh man lyss, you have been SO good.
here it is, coming next week. how the fuck does one prepare? i mean i guess you don't. i guess you just go with the flow and assume everything will go well. but then you start to think of every single moment of the day. "how will i look?" "what should i wear?" "whats the first thing i'll say to him?" you think of everything.
i just looked back at those pictures of him and his ex from that weekend in february that i freaked out about- wow. i deciphered everything extremely incorrectly. his smile is so forced. so "i wish she wasn't here" (?). i can't believe i thought all the shit i did. but i guess times get rough and complicated and confusing.
but its ok. it really is.
i'm going to go to bed now. i think ;)
