make it happen

these are my thoughts today:
-i want you to make me tiramisu. good, amazing, delicious tiramisu. and i want you to feed it to me.
-i want you to end things now with this girl. it's not fair to her and not fair to me. i want you to be mine completely and i'm sick of just talking about it and not having it happen. i know it may be hard for you and that you are probably just trying to avoid it. i'm not sure if that is working so well. it just has to happen and im sorry.
-if you are as ready for this as i think i am, then please lets try. the distance will be both bearble and unbearable as we progress into this. once we get to see each other who knows what this could all be like. as much as i know and anticipate it to go over well, i'm not sure what i'd do if it didn't. i am aware that i'm getting my hopes up and promising myself a connection that may not be there. i don't see this happening somehow. i have the most bizarre confidence about it all.
- i am loving this dream of loving you. i eat it all up with a big invisible spoon. you absolutely swoon me and make me think/know there is someone out there waiting for me whom i've already known for 3 years. its a beautiful thing.

a beautifully difficult thing.

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god damnit.








i am so happy
this is fucking ridiculous. in the most happy way ever possible.
i can't even spell.


what the fuck is going on with me.




tears are literally streaming down my face. this could be due to the fact that i've drank a lot of Red Stripe and Woodchuck tonight, but I've never cried like this.


this is the happiest cry I've ever cried.

it's just crazy for me to think....


that i'm in love