i seem to be having some issues this evening. here's the list:
1)i came across a picture from the summer i graduated high school. ok YES, everyone wants to be in the way they were then- thinner, prettier, better skin, great hair, etc. and here i am, the heaviest i've been and trying to do something about it. trying to eat better, trying to work out and find motivation, trying to be good. i know results don't show in a short amount of time but any little sign could be a huge confidence boost.
2)i got a speeding ticket yesterday. that sucked. but somehow the $225 ticket really hasn't set in yet. the coincidence? i got my state return yesterday and BAM! they knew. he was like "yes!! i get part of this bitch's money! WOOOO!" fuck. i feel like i didn't really commit a crime, or traffic violation rather. it just wasn't well, threatening to anyone but myself. whatever.
3)again, the lack of conversation with jon in my life crushes the shit out of me. is that new to anyone that doesn't read this blog? no. i haven't spoke verbally to him since LAST monday. it seems like eternity. we've text here and there but no way in hell does that compare to a real conversation. fuck it all. i've said this a gazillion times.
4)priorities: how the hell do i line everything up? how do i forget that money is just an object? how do i sort important from unimportant? sorry for the cussing, but where the fuck do i start?
5)is this all just pms and i'm fooling myself? could it be?! probably. because i am just so lucky to have 2 weeks out of the month where my mood is completely questionable and bipolar. it simply is unfair. men do not go through half the shit we do and im god damn sick of it. haha!
6)hey "spring ahead" you SUCK. i've been so thrown off in the evening..ohhh its probably only 4 o'clock. OH WAIT. nope. it's 5. wow. then i'll be up until 3 am like its no big deal. and when morning comes? hell if i'm waking up! it's only 8 am! OH WAIT. just kidding.
7)my cat is being a bitch and i'm becoming aggravated at her. she likes to throw her paws out to my face like shes going to swat me and she has the most treacherous pointy claws ever that i refuse to attempt to clip because i know she'll be a little bitch. i'm honestly afraid to pet her sometimes because she just has this evil glare in her eyes (i say this as she's got her leg up chicken position and is innocently gnawing at her knee(?)bone on her back leg). god damn shes so cute. and such a bitch.
8)i've had like 4 people this week ask me when i'm moving back to colorado. that sounds like such a sweet, sweet idea. i miss it terribly there. there are so many pro's about it out there. and a small list of cons. but so beafuckingutiful. i've had clients encourage me to do what i want. go where i want. live the life i want. but there are so many ridiculous, unnecessary obstacles that are standing in the way waiting for me to knock out the shit out of them.
9)i need a mentor. i need to seek some guidance from a good source. i shall do that soon.
10)i'm just fucking weird.
thats about all i have to say.
